My nipple is on Facebook.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Randomize
