absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
