That's when you crack a 10am beer
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
