there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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