Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
there was a trapeze. enough said
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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