tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
