In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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