Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
