Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
