youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
