All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
