I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
