i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
