If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
