ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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