What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
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