I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
