the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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