remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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