I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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