You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
