Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
