That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
