She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
