Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
