she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I will be naked everywhere
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
