one might say we're banned from that church
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
