I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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