Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(626): View more from California

What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"

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(941): View more from Florida

you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero

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(630): View more from Illinois

Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.

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(914): View more from New York

all she had left on were here heels. phone five

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(334): View more from Alabama

she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious

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(519): View more from Ontario

That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?

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