Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Randomize
