I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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