she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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