I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
