Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I got her a Nickelback box set.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
