I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
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