Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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