Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
