Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
