They should really pass out barf bags in church
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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