Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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