i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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