return my video game
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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