If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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