So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You dont lie about slip and slides
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
