Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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