So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
