If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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