I should be sponsored by Trojan
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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