She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I understand Curling. That high.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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