I heard we made out
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
