I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
